Feeling: Melancholy

I am a sponge for emotion;
I drink in anything.
Why is mania always followed by such a heavy gloom?
Loneliness and isolation.
I'm surrounded by a heavy mist and I can't see.
Everything's fuzzy and distorted
And me the same.
It doesn't really get better for forever.
Just a little more predictable when it doesn't.

poor choices:
1. Drinking on empty stomach. I do this too often with disastrous effects. I can drink quite a bit and be fine if I eat, but if I don't then I'm a tragic mess.
2. Being a flake. I've let a friend down because I was busy being a tragic poor-choice mess. It makes me feel shitty because I don't like flakes very much. Kind of angry at myself.
3. Freaking myself out, especially over little things.
4. Letting myself become a distracted mess. Can't focus. Can't think. I feel like I have ADD or something in my head. There's too much energy bouncing around inside me.
5. Me a mess.

I don't want to do anything except run and play the piano and write poems in spanish.